One of the hardest known job to mankind is parenting. There is no written manual or handbook on parenting. It is a natural phenomenon, a lifelong learning experience that change constantly. No guidelines, no rules and regulations when compared with man made gadgets and creation. The child want to be independent when they feel the need be, while the parents want successful independent without any future issues.
Parenting is not a routine job that gets completed in a particular time. It is a process of raising the child with standard values and morals that lasts lifelong. Every parent wants their child to be good and valuable to the society. Parents are the first teachers and play major role in bringing up their child with good behavior.
Parenting is not a routine job that gets completed in a particular time. It is a process of raising the child with standard values and morals that lasts lifelong. Every parent wants their child to be good and valuable to the society. Parents are the first teachers and play major role in bringing up their child with good behavior.
Parents pass through several obstacles before their goals are met. Sometimes parents cause these life challenging problems. Despite the exhibition of good intentions, hopes, love and care. The parental programmes still exist in a state of sabotaging.
Parenting is not just a job; it's a lifelong commitment. And when you are caught up in the day-in, day-out adventures of raising kids for more than 20 years, it's easy to fall into habitual behavior.
Unfortunately, some of those habits are counterproductive. In this article, we will look at 10 bad habits parents fall into, often without realizing it.
Read on to learn their symptoms, as well as tips for breaking them.
1. PHYSICAL AND VERBAL ABUSE
Physical abuse with children can lead in losing their confidence. Giving punishments for every small issue may develop inferiority complex in them. Even vocal abuse also affects child’s psychology. It is very wrong on parents showing their frustration on their children by way of abusing them.
Physical abuse with children can lead in losing their confidence. Giving punishments for every small issue may develop inferiority complex in them. Even vocal abuse also affects child’s psychology. It is very wrong on parents showing their frustration on their children by way of abusing them.
For reference, labeling kids as lazy or dumb and using these words in public can significantly hurt a child and lower his self-esteem. Likewise, if you criticism your kids efforts or look down upon him by comparing with others achievements, then your child may also develop feelings of jealousy and resentment.
Although punishment is required when a child does something wrong, but when they are extensively punished for even small matters as earlier said. It may lead to them being rebellious. A child requires physical contact with the parent like hugs, kisses, and other signs of affection. If you yell at your child, call him or her names or say that he or she is no good, you are sending the wrong message.
2. ALL FUN, NO RULES AT HOME
Are you too carefree as a parent, giving your kids the power to decide everything? In such cases, kids become their own masters, going to bed late, getting up late, doing absolutely everything at their will.
Are you too carefree as a parent, giving your kids the power to decide everything? In such cases, kids become their own masters, going to bed late, getting up late, doing absolutely everything at their will.
Owing to hectic lifestyles and both parents working, no one does the work of disciplining the kids as life is already chaotic. If this is how your kids live their lives, this is what they will do when they visit their aunt or cousin. They simply wouldn’t know how to behave appropriately.
Discipline is the only way your kids grow up knowing right and wrong. And parents need to do some real hard work to raise kids who know how to behave properly. There will be times when kids will test the parents by breaking rules, hence parents need to establish and clearly communicate the consequences of breaking those rules
3. NOT GIVING YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN ENOUGH ATTENTION(OPEN COMMUNICATION)
As a parent are guilty of being glued to your phone’s screen when your child is demanding you play with her? Got an official call and cannot listen to your child telling you about his day? Stop! Your kids don’t just need food or money from you, they want to speak to you, share their experiences and sometimes need to hear your comforting words.
Communication is the only thing that will strengthen your bond, not expensive gifts.
The deal should be to be the parents kids want to hug and spend time with, not the ones who are like ATM machines. Kids may inadvertently perform odd behavior to attract parent’s attentions. As Jane Hull perfectly puts it, ‘At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents’.
As a parent are guilty of being glued to your phone’s screen when your child is demanding you play with her? Got an official call and cannot listen to your child telling you about his day? Stop! Your kids don’t just need food or money from you, they want to speak to you, share their experiences and sometimes need to hear your comforting words.
Communication is the only thing that will strengthen your bond, not expensive gifts.
The deal should be to be the parents kids want to hug and spend time with, not the ones who are like ATM machines. Kids may inadvertently perform odd behavior to attract parent’s attentions. As Jane Hull perfectly puts it, ‘At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents’.
4. YOU ARE A ROLE MODEL OF INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR
Parents should be self-conscious of their behaviour when their kids is with them to avoid passing the wrong message or inappropriate behaviour to them which might be detrimental in the future as they grow older and difficult to control.
Parents should be self-conscious of their behaviour when their kids is with them to avoid passing the wrong message or inappropriate behaviour to them which might be detrimental in the future as they grow older and difficult to control.
“Each day of our lives, we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” – Charles Swindoll.
The way you speak, treat your partner and elders, behave in public, at home, the words you use are all being soaked up by your kids. If you often take your kids to bar, drink and abuse others then your kids will feel that this is how they are supposed to behave too. A child looks up to his parents to understand and know how to conduct himself – parents are a child’s first role model.
There are many parents who do nothing to discourage bad behavior or manners in their kids and turn a blind eye to their behavior. As the saying goes, what you sow is what you reap.
If you are someone who shouts or uses bad words in front of children then it is only natural that they will take after you. That may be the reason why children of drunkards or smokers may start drinking or smoking at a very young age.
The parents are also in no position to stop them as they themselves have the same bad habits. Fighting or indulging in physical or verbal abuse in front of the child also is not a sign of a good parent. It is very important for a parent to be a good example for the child to follow. A positive role model not negative role model as it may be.
5. EXCESSIVE INTERFERENCE PAMPERING
Are you the type of parent that jump in at the very first sign that your child is in a conflict? Do you follow your child like a shadow and interfere in everything? If you try to resolve every tiff or challenging situations, your child gets into, you are interrupting with his/her social development.
Are you the type of parent that jump in at the very first sign that your child is in a conflict? Do you follow your child like a shadow and interfere in everything? If you try to resolve every tiff or challenging situations, your child gets into, you are interrupting with his/her social development.
They will grow up being overly dependent on you and fail to develop skills necessary to survive in the competitive world.
Like negligence, too much pampering or worrying about children also can spoil the child by making them too demanding.
Many parents protect their children and interfere in their activities in such a manner that when they grow up they become overly dependent on others or grow up as cowards.
Many parents protect their children and interfere in their activities in such a manner that when they grow up they become overly dependent on others or grow up as cowards.
All parents love their children. The way they express their love differs. If the parents are not expressing their love, it doesn’t mean that they do not care for their children. Showing too much of concern and love to their children is a sign of bad parenting.
Too much of concern and affection can bring trouble in the attitude and behavior of the child. It may lead to non disciplinary activities by the child. The children become stubborn, undisciplined, irresponsible, arrogant and irritating.
Allow your kids to handle things on their own, they are capable of doing so.
6.FORCING THEIR INTEREST OR CHOICE ONTO THEIR CHILDREN/CHILD
It is very true that a parent knows what is best for his or her child. But often parents force their choices onto their children without considering their interests, intelligence level or capacity. Many parents are very demanding and look to achieve their own unfulfilled dreams and ambitions through their children.
It is very true that a parent knows what is best for his or her child. But often parents force their choices onto their children without considering their interests, intelligence level or capacity. Many parents are very demanding and look to achieve their own unfulfilled dreams and ambitions through their children.
But when the child can not live up to the expectations of the parent it can be very de-motivating and disappointing. A child requires encouragement and motivation from parents and demoralizing and de-motivating them can affect them adversely.
7. FAVOURITISM/PARTIALITY
Favoritism or partiality can be very damaging to a child. In many households, boys get preferential treatment, making the girl child feel useless or neglected. Be it with education, food or essential requirements, girls are often known to suffer, beginning in their own homes.
Favoritism or partiality can be very damaging to a child. In many households, boys get preferential treatment, making the girl child feel useless or neglected. Be it with education, food or essential requirements, girls are often known to suffer, beginning in their own homes.
Many parents even have the habit of complaining to others about their own children. Many grumble or complain about anything or everything in front of others rather than dealing with the problem.
Parents who are overly critical and compare their children to other children are also causing them damage.
8. PLAYING THE CARD OF RIGHT/PRIVILEGES CLOSE TO YOUR HEART
As kids mature, they need more space -- more distance from parental protectiveness, a license to make their own decisions and physical and psychological separation from you. It can be hard to accept your child's growing independence and separateness, and hard to relax your need to protect him or her.
As kids mature, they need more space -- more distance from parental protectiveness, a license to make their own decisions and physical and psychological separation from you. It can be hard to accept your child's growing independence and separateness, and hard to relax your need to protect him or her.
But maturity takes years, guidance and encouragement to develop. It's up to you to give your son or daughter space he or she needs in increments your child can handle. If you step back from your parent-child relationship from time to time and view your kid from a different perspective, it's easier to see when your "baby" is ready to handle more responsibility and independence. Failing to relax rules can push a child to rebellious behavior.
Stretching limits involves two-way trust and communication. Don't just drop the fences. Your kid wants opportunities to safely explore outside the old rules, not the removal of them all. That can be frightening and imply that you no longer care. Reevaluate boundaries before you change them and decide what's appropriate for your child at his or her present age and maturity level.
When you think your child is ready for looser rules -- or when he or she starts demanding them -- talk about it. Listen to your kid's ideas and reasons for wanting more freedom. It may be entirely different from what you were thinking. Share with your son or daughter why you're willing to adjust certain boundaries. Did he or she handle a tough decision in a responsible way? Discuss options for expanded rules and come to agreement. This doesn't mean you give in to everything requested.
If a particular request just doesn't fly with you, explain why. Your willingness to listen and compromise shows your child that you recognize and respect his or her growing maturity. Taking part in deciding the new rules also makes kids feel responsible for sticking to them.( source:howstuffwork.)
9.NO VALUE FOR MONEY
Parents earn money for their children and their future. All the parents want to fulfill the needs of their children . They want their children to have a happy life without striving for anything. It is therefore parents are not wise in spending money when it comes to their children.
Parents earn money for their children and their future. All the parents want to fulfill the needs of their children . They want their children to have a happy life without striving for anything. It is therefore parents are not wise in spending money when it comes to their children.
Sometimes, for children whose every need is fulfilled doesn’t have any value for money . It is the responsibility of parents to make children understand the value of money. They have to demand only those which are in reach of their parents and which are useful.
Moreso, most parents are not very wise with money as far as children are concerned. While some cater to every whim and fancy of the child, others are excessively stingy which may result in the child developing the habit of stealing to fulfill their needs.
At the same time, those children whose every need is fulfilled may fail to realize the real value of money and may indulge in bad habits. So maintaining a balance is very important.
10. LACK OF DISCIPLINE
Discipline is very essential for child’s growth and development. It is the way of training and guiding children towards good behavior. It is necessary for parents to explain their children what is good and what is bad. It is also essential for children to know what is right and wrong.
Discipline is very essential for child’s growth and development. It is the way of training and guiding children towards good behavior. It is necessary for parents to explain their children what is good and what is bad. It is also essential for children to know what is right and wrong.
Lack of discipline leads to bad behavior.
Every parent should have an eye on their child’s behavior. Any wrong sign should be immediately corrected before it becomes too late and the child develops more odd and bad behavior.
Every parent should have an eye on their child’s behavior. Any wrong sign should be immediately corrected before it becomes too late and the child develops more odd and bad behavior.
Lack of discipline becomes difficult for the child to live in the real world and makes them confused. It is very vital for parents to correct their child or children with love and care not in anger. Every form of discipline varies from country to country and culture to culture all over the world. So parents should chose appropriate discipline according to their age and individual differences and law of the land.
Happy Parenting
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